[pause] Boobs are holding up nicely for a gal her age, I'll say that. Hallelujah. Steve Smith: You know the rule. Stanley Smith: Why is there a leopard on the Cheetos bag? [to the fortune teller] I got a question about the future: you see yourself taking a shower ever? Stan Smith: It's raining wise men. Dick: I don't have anything for show and tell. The stuff that makes everything taste wonderful? Principal Lewis: Yep, looks like the pottery class is coming in. Wh-where else would I be? Stan Smith: A mistress on my salary, Francine? Which means something might go down somewhere in some way at some point in time. Klaus: No, no, he ran the kiddie train at the zoo. I - I see it! Dad handcuffed me to the oven! God: Look, everything happens for a reason. Call it "A Brief History of Fine". All Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Season 7 Season 8 View Quote 'Stan: I Avery Bullock: Good, then you're the man for this job. Damn! Ding! Hayley Smith: Plus-sized women drive our economy with their purchases of Garfield books and H?agen-Dazs. Stan Smith: Let's see, how do I hang an air freshener on this? Roger the Alien: [ in his normal voice] You mean the medal? Slow down, Smith! Francine Smith: This man's given me something you haven't for a long time. "Where's the beef?" I have so much horniness to give! Francine Smith: [sees Klaus] Oh, and and Klaus. McCreary: You're familiar with the first line of "Genesis," right? Can I have a few bucks for popcorn? Jeff and Stan are at Jeff's father's house in North Carolina. We're not stopping for their food. Mission Financier: [Francine has quit on finding the squid] My brother Phillipe! Roger: Roger: You You struck me with a bass. Klaus: There's an old German saying: "don't blame the fish." Roger the Alien: You know what grenadine turns cold cola into? It's funnier, but I think it takes out some of the tension Stan Smith: I don't negotiate with terrorists. Stanley Smith: I want my one free kill to be Chuck White. [Stan has gone to God to get a second chance]. [turns towards Jeff] you and your pee-pee are gross! Stanley Smith: [seeing crowd of nerds at a sci-fi convention] Good God! Yeah, I'd rather die. I'm on an ultra-strict diet. Do you feel lighter? It gives me the chills. This wasn't a theme party. Never gonna happen, but, please, keep going. Hayley Smith: And when you're in your late 30s, you may have a chance at convincing a long-time female friend to have awkward pity-sex with you, once. Maybe at my place? Stanley Smith: Francine, don't you see. Roger: Pretty sure I asked for pecan sandies. Klaus: I get the piece with the rose on it. . Stanley Smith: [his wife's roots are showing] Francine, looking at your hair, I doubt I could eat the amount I want to vomit. CheetOS. Roger the Alien: [ to Klaus] I hate you, I'm not saying that out of anger, it's a fact, it's 67 degrees out and I hate you. Roger the Alien: Oh, can't a brother get a "Run, Roger"? Roger: Small bills are in the safe, the rest are in my ass. When Stan moved to kill him and end his misery, he survives and it turns out Dick put a microchip on him to induce his behavior as revenge for his bullying. Stan Smith: Don't worry, honey. I used to cook everything in oil containing trans fat, but since the new law, you can't get it anymore. [handing Mrs. Hannigan a leaflet] Here you go. You really wanna know? Hayley Smith: It's not my fault the job market sucks. American Dad! Stanley Smith: [to his wife] Potato salad. My grandfather was a conductor at Auschwitz. Fat Guy: Excuse me, gentlemen. Steve Smith: Are guys really think, I'm a werewolf. Bullock has been a more prominent character throughout the years and I want to gauge how everyone responds to his role. Klaus: Stan, these people are monsters! Stan has no friends! Stan Smith: Per se, Steve. [he crashes through the table, sending breakfast items everywhere] Oh, great. Donny: [reluctantly] I accidentally shot him. Roger the Alien: Oh, no, not my Frankenberry! Henry Fischer. Roger the Alien: I even watched the latest Meg Ryan movie where she played that burn victim. Klaus: [Hayley runs naked outside] Say it! Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay? My past? This tastes like crap! Are you doing coke? An unholy ingredient. Stan Smith: Crack? Please. Roger: You think this fake detective agency with real cases in a pretend office in your father's garage is a joke? But it's mine! Looks down, then looks back up squinting underneath his eyebrows. Steve Smith: Didn't you lose your virginity to Mom? Stanley Smith: Ah, I thought I was gonna fart. Or angels will kill you. Is there something wrong with my legs? Francine Smith: If it's okay with his parents. Francine Smith: She probably died before we hit her. Steve Smith: I touched her hand. American Dad! Francine Smith: Way better, if I were you Hayley I'd lock that down! 'Cos I didn't! Steve Smith: Where where does your food go? After Bullock had explained a particularly fatuous idea to Stan Smith, Stan walked away muttering, "Kirk was a MUCH better commander!" [We pull back to reveal the Griffin house next to the Brown and Smith houses as Peter walks up to Stan and Cleveland]. Klaus: Oh, he is so delusional. Stanley Smith: [picks up the phone] This is Stan Smith. Stan Smith: [the kid makes to poke at Stan's eyes again] If you ever do that again I'm going to come round to your house and kick your Mom to death right in front of you! Roger the Alien/Sydney Huffman: Oh, my god. Roger: Those chocodiles, oh my God, these chocodiles, oh my God, these chocodiles, oh my God! Hayley Smith: [Hayley is dating Bullock, Stan's boss] I came over here after the party, we started talking, and you know. Francine Smith: [to Hayley] Listen to your father. Kitty can scratch. Stan Smith: And by the way, father of the year here. Francine Smith: Yea, any man who ever did anything great was just trying to show up some piece of ass who didn't give him any. I have five friends on MySpace and I'm waiting on approval from a sixth. Stan Smith: Here we go - mac and cheese. I'm just saying that yours is in his underwear swatting at invisible owls. Steve Smith: Get my tub of chalk. Roger the Alien: I'm crying like Francine when she watches Grey's Anatomy, Francine Smith: I just feel so sad for those poor actors. Roger the Alien: Holy Toledo, you killed your son's dog! Stanley Smith: Do you like shaving your armpits, Hayley? It's just that he's gone mad with power. Stanley Smith: Oh God! Stan Smith: Michael Moore ? Once I stopped selling houses, my sodomy cleared up like that. Steve Smith: But, Dad, then I'd get killed too. Hundred dollar bills. You can't touch that! is the first television series to have its inception on Animation Domination. He is voiced by Patrick Stewart. Belgian Terrorist: [opens coat to reveal suicide bomb vest]. Roger: Shut up Garfield! Roger the Alien: Don't hurt me! Not to some coked-up airhead. Stan Smith: If I had died in that crash today, who would remember me? Do you have your high school diploma? Francine Smith: Roger,you're the most disgusting,out of shape piece of shit I've ever met,and I know Sammy Hagar. Situational Sexuality: Bullock had several gay experiences in boarding school. Roger the Alien: Pillow Fight! Why do you hate Mondays? Checked the wrong box. The gallery will refrain from shouting out existential truisms! Oh, the things you can buy with a handful of bills. You will not break it! Roger the Alien/Sydney Huffman: Rootie tootie, fresh and fruitie, I'm in a pile of doodie! My name is Barry. Or just-plain not high? There's already a guy in here! Stan Smith: Oh my God, you respected her? Hayley Smith: Steve, come on! In "Ricky Spanish", Roger's persona of Ricky Spanish was revealed to have stabbed Miriam with a sword at her birthday party. And he didn't even realize! That's crazy! Francine Smith: I know. He described it as "the time when he started to enjoy playing inside". Stan Smith: So, uh, what do you think the CIA will do with the alien when you bring it in? Stan Smith: That's what your Mum said last night, Steve Smith: [ to Stan] Why do you care how I get those oranges up those steps, I can pay someone to do it for me just like I'm paying Stelio to kick your ass, Francine Smith: [ to Steve] I'm not good for you, you're so frustrating, I'm gonna go to SeaWorld, punch a dolphin, Francine Smith: I know I said violence is never the answer, I'm gonna teach you to kick your father's ass, Francine Smith: That's what your father said last night. Out I have a sex garden that was before I get my feelings Akiva. You said it. 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