Little Steve raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because it is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche." Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicon." Student: What animal walks on 2 legs, sleeps on 4 legs, and runs on 3 legs? Professor: What element has the atomic number 45? He opens the second door to find a man so fat he can't even sit up, he's covered in his own feces, the food around him is all rotten, flies are everywhere. A man stumbles upon a lamp on the beach, rubs it, and a genie comes out. Like This Joke? A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. Most science-lovers would agree that witty humor is the best kind of humorwhich is why funny chemistry jokes and puns are so good at getting them laughing.From goofy jokes about atoms to A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site. So theres this farm. Show Your Support :) Share This Joke: Facebook Twitter Google+. Share them with your friends. I said over the tannoy. 'Au, I C U! Possesses high affinity to gold, platinum, diamond, branded clothes and other expensive items. The first student asks the second, "Can you tell me what the symbol for Potassium is?" A young bride and groom to be had just selected their wedding rings. and he leads the man to another door, which revealed a warehouse full of marijuana. "Do you remember the symbol for sodium?" - Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it's gonna take the contagious! Husband: "honey just give me the day I need to relieve some stress. What does the pig give you? Barium. exclaimed the pastor. Little Jane said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette." ", "For my final wish," the man begins, "I want you to scare me half to death. - I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious! Save. I don't know who this generous person was, but thank you. Every question the professor asks that the student can't answer the student will owe him $1, every question the student asks that the professor can't answer he owes the student $100. Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must not make contact. Why are you answering with five?" Jimmy: "Four!" Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must not make contact. 3. very bitter when mishandled. You don't hear a lot of jokes, puns, or riddles in physics and biology, but chemistry is full of them. Shiny, shiny, the only material fit for a king, Platinum-Everlasting shine sounds awesome. A new element added to the PERIODIC TABLE : During his business presentation, he sees the perfect bride for him -- she is an intelligent, tall, slender single brunette wit. !pop! Silver may shine, Gold glitter, but Platinum is permanent, Platinum, the everlasting shinning metal on earth. Little Stevie raised his hand and said "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche." Mary said Iron because she's malleable and likes to support everyone. the first student asks the second. !er ! "John H Smith, welcome to Heaven. And if there is anything you need, just let me know. Just repeat "Lanthanum" over and over again. There might be some irregular bubbles, but that is normal. Melts when handled with love and care, --- Below is a list of Great Platinum slogans for chemistry assignments, science projects & project presentations. Little Johnny replies: No ma'am, it's just painful to see you standing all alone. While you were speaking of the Lord, Joe's fares were praying.". Mole Day Jokes and Humor. gt read more. - Susan? On a usual trip he catches 10-15 fish. and everyone but one of her students exitedly raises their hands. 7 ratings 1 saves. The second student is telling the first student about neptunium. Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen. !na ! Gold of course - what would a pirate want with argon? 5 . Violent when left alone. What does the cow give you? Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! He has had very bad luck finding the perfect bride in China and had given up hope of getting married. The brunette says,"I would prefer platinum After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly. I've already got a cat!". ", What is an assassin's favorite elem- Trying to get better, he goes to a council of Buddhist monks and seeks their advice. An hour later the nurse asks the science teacher "Have any luck?" Chemical properties: Very active. "And here we have Dave! !pop! "The brunette says,"I would prefer platinum because it is more valuable than gold and can buy you more cars. He responded by saying, "Because my mom had two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house! and Satan nods "I want all of the most beautiful women!" So there was a horse, and this horse was really talented. Thanks, anonymous Redditor(s). 3. Click here for more information. 2. We aren't quite in our element here. Why the fuck would a pirate need Argon? His eyes light up, and he rushes on in with the door closing and locking behind him. With a fatherly smile, the salesman said, "One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day.". Mix Sulfur, Oxygen, Uranium, and Phosphorus into boiling water and stir. Jimmy: "Because I already have a cat!". NEW ELEMENTS ON THE PERIODIC TABLE Element: WOMAN Symbol: Wo Atomic Weight: 120 (more or less) Physical Properties: Generally round in form. Kids: Meat! A very smart person - Einsteinium - Es 19. --- !Let! and he enters with the door closing and locking behind him. A man was driving through a rural countryside when his car got a flat. Melts whenever treated properly. He had been posted to a planet 14 lightyears from Sol. 2. Possession of more than one is possible but specimens must not make contact. Professor: Ok you win, but on earth was the answer to your question? Joke: Why didn't Platinum fit in Im talking to that little jerk on your knee!. upvotes! Your mom is so fat that, a group of people started believing that your mom is actually flat. Personally I think he torques out of his arse, "I would have gold," says Harold. "Very well, the room is all yours!" !Gon! You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them. So the nurse takes him to the science teacher and say "Can you get the gum out of his hair?" --- Platinum Jokes. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise. They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about thier opinions on elements.The redhead says,"I love gold because I can buy a lot of cars with it. They are calling it the element of surprise. 10 Argon Facts - Ar or Atomic Number 18. Because they can't take him out his Element. Hope the joke made you chuckle out loud. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore. I'm quite the reasonable guy! !er ! The teacher says, "Let's try it another way. What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way? she demands. It is a dense, malleable, ductile, highly unreactive, precious & gray-white transition metal. On this farm, theres a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends. Thanks Satan!" "Do you remember the symbol for sodium?" He can clearly hear Saint Peter talking to the man. Nature: Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Edited to add: thank you, stranger, for the silver. Mostly found in front of the mirrors. Absolutely hilarious platinum jokes! 2. A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring. What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way? she demands. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore. 1. Person from the big blue planet - Neptunium - Np 20. She stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?". Platinum: sometimes gold just isnt good enough! But you don't have to love a team because of your parents. Following is our collection of bromine humor and thorium one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. It's a good story, but is it a joke? In school one day the teacher decided that in science class she talks about materials; So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world what would it be?" !pop! The second man, a little pudgy man, steps forward and says "I love to eat, I want a room full of the best food from all around the world!" 3. Not the 1st choice but the last choice or the no choice =), Platinum Makes Your Exhaust System Sparkle, Platinum: When You Dont Want to Take It to The Bank. I don't form bonds easily, if at all. That's not really my thing except for that time in college when I experimented with carbon dating. The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, "Why do you keep saying seven?!" The blonde read more !You! Teacher: Very good. Let me ask you another way. ", and are greeted by a charming looking gentleman at the gate. Very bitter if not used well. "Na," he replies.--- asks the teacher. Little Susie said, "I would want platinum because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette" The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny. "Np," the second student responds. "Na," he replies. Are you sure this is your one true desire?" 1. Si. Teacher: "Ok, Jimmy. They were having a chat when the bartender asked them about thier opinions on elements. because Zinc was able to galvanize Iron. Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, "Seven." ]*, He arrives at the pearly gates. He's got one of those boxy ones, and mine is a mid-size sedan. What do you do with a dead chemist? St Peter says "Here you go" and goes to leave when the forester says "Waitaminute!, how come the lawyer gets the big mansion and I get this shack?" A photon checks into a hotel. Not only will they be used in Recon and Combat missions but they will have the ability to drop vital equipment onto the battlefield. "I guess then I'd be a White Sox fan". Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen. Bob started his first day at the adult store. "Joe there was a taxi driver. One day he found himself watching youtube and stumbled upon a Jimi Hendrix song which inspired him to start a cover. !Gon! "Now, you each get your own room!" How do you make element soup? Johnny says, "Six." 2. 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